Fight Club Hogwarts style
by Sirius-Loey
Summary: This came into my head today. James and Sirius start a fight club for Remus who is fed up of people always coming to him for help and needs to let out his stress. As usual..it might very possibly go wrong... T for violence and language. R&R?


_I guess I got this idea because I'm watching Fight Club... I don't even know how it's going to end._

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Sirius Black was sat on his bed looking through a Quidditch magazine when he received the biggest shock he'd had in a while.

Remus Lupin stormed into the room, seething. He proceeded to sit on his bed with his hands on his lap and stare ahead with his hands open on his thighs.

"Remus..?" Sirius asked tentatively.

"Not now Sirius..." The wolf replied with a warning tone in his voice. Sirius watched him cautiously, he hadn't seen Remus like this before..he wondered what was getting to him. He didn't have to wait long.

"I can't TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Remus yelled, standing up suddenly. Sirius was startled and dropped his magazine.

"Uh...what?" Sirius asked.

"Everything. People always asking me for help! 'Remus help me with Charms', 'Remus, how do you read a star chart?' It does my fucking HEAD IN. And James, constantly asking about Lily, if he backed the fuck off she wouldn't feel so cornered!" Remus took a breath but didn't sit back down.  
Sirius was rather startled.

"Would you like a calming potion? I could whip you up one?" He asked cautiously. His friend shook his head.

"No..I rather punch someone in the face. Any other time I wouldn't even think that. But now? Everything has just mounted up and I want to burst." Sirius had an idea.

"Hit me.." He said, standing up also. Remus looked at him confused.

"No, Sirius.. I don't want to hurt you..."

"Remus if I didn't mean it I wouldn't say it. Besides, I've probably had worse than you can throw. Now come on, hit me."  
Remus' punch was very pathetic.

"That all you got Remus-I'm-Gunna-Hurt-You-Lupin? Oh and could you give me a hand on my Transfiguration essay?" WHAM. Sirius stumbled back a couple of steps and sat down on his bed and held his cheek. Ouch.. SMACK. Another one came. This time to his shoulder.

"Better..that it? Or have you got more? Because that essay is due in so-" Soon Sirius and Remus were brawling on the floor. A punch there, a kick here. Sirius had never ever seen Remus lose control like this, and to be honest, he was a little bit scared.

Just then, the door opened and James came in. He stopped in the doorway and looked on at the scene with an eyebrow raised in amusement.

"Lovers tiff?" He queried, stepping around the two boys. Remus and Sirius stooped mid fight to look up at him, then back at each other, then scoot apart. Sirius was holding his nose and shoulder and Remus had a hand to his forehead.

"Can I ask what the fuuuuck that was all about?" James asked, sitting on Sirius' bed.

"Remus needed to let something out." Sirius replies, making his way to the bathroom.

"Well you both look like you could use a trip to the Hospital Wing. Do you even feel any better after that?" He looked at Remus.

"Loads! I bet a lot of people could relieve their stress so much more quickly like this.. and I can't believe I just said that." Remus chuckled.

"Well why don't you make a club out of it?" James suggested.

"Yeah, and people could come and fight with each other instead of going to the Wing for potions." Sirius joined in, coming back out of the bathroom. His face looked better now, less beaten and swollen.

"That's sort of the idea.." James pointed out.

"Were you serious, by the way?" Remus asked him.

"Course I am!" He jested. Remus rolled his eyes.

"I meant about the essay."

"Oh, no, that was just a wind up. Worked though eh?" Sirius laughed.

"Yeah..."

"So, are we gunna make this a club or what?" James pushed. Sirius looked at Remus and grinned.

"Hell yeah. So what should we do? Just go round telling people 'Hey, wanna duel the muggle way? Come to this place...'?" Sirius asked the other two.

"Something like that...I know there's a place on the third floor that not many people know about. We could just tell random people except first and second years, and make sure no one tell the teachers.." James suggested.

"We could jinx them to keep their mouths shut to authority?" Said Sirius.

"I know a spell for that..." Remus told them, looking guilty.

"Don't look like that Remus, I could help people..and injure them, obviously, but that can be resolved. We are Wizards. That's another point, guys only. This isn't a game and not for girls." James advised. The other two nodded.

The next day, the word was spread. They would have a meeting that night and a demonstration. Then the club would commence two nights a week.

James, Sirius and Remus waited patiently in the room on the third floor for the first few people to arrive. They weren't expecting a big turn out and were surprised when the room started to fill slightly. Remus had had doubts this morning and had wanted to pull out but Sirius had convinced him to stay.

When they were satisfied with the number of students, James stood up.

"So. By coming through that door today, you have all been jinxed not to tell any teacher, staff member of what goes on in this room. Or...anything to do with this. Or else." Sirius nodded in agreement.

"There are rules to coming. Rule one has been stated, you do not tell anyone about this club unless you feel they can handle it apart from first and second years. Rule two, it is not for beating people up. If they tap out you must stop immediately. This is a muggle style fight club, no dueling or wands. No shoes or shirts. Clear?" The group nodded. "Right. Two at a time, let that stress out. Sirius will go first with one of you then we'll see how it plays out."

Sirius gave James a thanks-for-the-warning look before shrugging off his shirt and shoes and stepping forward. The people attending formed a circle and a nervous looking Ravenclaw shed their clothes too and stepped forward. He was a bit thin and didn't look like he could make much of a fight.

Sirius spread his arms in a come-at-me-bro way and the boy in front of him threw a feeble punch. Sirius rolled his eyes, well the kid had come and stepped forward for this so... he smacked him in the jaw. Shocked, the Ravenclaw came back and landed a kick on Sirius' abdomen. Wincing, he retaliated with a series of punches and the boy was soon tapping out. Sirius stepped back and grinned, the kid grinned back and held his hand out. Sirius shook it feeling surprised, he hadn't been expecting that. The two of them rejoined the circle and watched as another two shirtless students stepped forward and waited to see who attacked first. Sirius thought to himself that this might have been their best and worst idea yet.

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_So, there's the first chapter, I've got a feeling their will only be one more. Hope it's interesting. Please review? :3 _


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